She Done Did It.

Now She Really Done Did It

2009-07-06T22:00:00.000-07:00

The funny thing about relationships is that there's always a last frontier that you don't want to visit. That certain peccadillo that you keep to yourself because it's yours. It's yours and yours alone. There's no judgment, no prying eyes, just you. I firmly believe that it's important to keep some things from your significant other, not the big stuff, just a few little things.

My secret is out. The boyfriend came over a little earlier than expected this evening and found a very unattractive sight: me on the couch, watching a DVD that kept me up until all hours last night, elbow-deep in neapolitan ice cream. No bowl, just a spoon and the half gallon tub of Dreyers.

This is definitely not the first time I've done this, in fact it dates back to 7th grade orchestra when my friend and I discovered we could eat a pint of Ben & Jerry's all by ourselves. It is, however, the first time I've been caught.

His reaction was mixed: on one hand, cute; and the other, sad; and the third, hilarious (yeah, I said there are three hands).

I'd like to believe that there's some air of mystery and allure still left in my relationship, though it's going on two years. That illusion, frail as it was to begin with, is left shattered, irreparable.

Is this a good thing though? To reveal one of my innermost secrets to the person I share my life with? Does he deserve to know the things I do when he's not around? Or is he better off ignorant of my shameful habits?

Bus Stop Nemesis

2009-07-04T21:31:00.001-07:00

I'm generally a very easy going person when I get up in the morning. I walk to work, I pick up some coffee, I listen to my iPod and hope it doesn't rain.

I usually take the same route to work every morning at about the same time so I see the same people a lot. There's one girl that I see at one of the bus stops and she's always got a scowl on her face. For whatever reason, I think her dirty looks are directed at me in some sort of drive-by judgment. Maybe I've wronged her in some way or beat her out for a job, stolen her boyfriend or dented her car without leaving a note.

Whatever it is, I'm sorry Bus Stop Nemesis! Can we put a moratorium on the daggers you throw my way and get back to a normal Seattle equilibrium where we both ignore each other?

I'm Not Really American

2009-07-04T09:58:00.000-07:00

When I was a kid, my family didn't have cable so I watched a lot of British TV and movies. Stuff like Blackadder, Jeeves and Wooster, and Fawlty Towers.

I was so excited when I heard that Hugh Laurie was going to be in an American show called House.

Why would you force him into using an American accent (because I'm sure it wasn't his idea)? He's British! But you think it's OK to have an Australian dude on there?! Why doesn't he have to have an American accent too?!

And don't even get me started on what happens when British shows are recreated by American networks. Ridiculous! Let me make my case:

The Office: I hear that the American version is good but I'll never see it. I loved the original and I feel like watching it would desecrate its memory.
Coupling: a word-for-word remake! Gross! And yes, I know that Coupling was based on Friends but at least the UK version knew when to end. That's right: I said it!
Changing Rooms: I'm sorry but Trading Spaces is but a pale impostor of this show. There are so many game shows that come from the UK that are reproductions, no additional thought or creativity is applied.

I know that it goes the other way too but it's hard to see those shows that I enjoyed as a kid being diluted when they come over here.

Is I crazy? Should I just let go of my bias, seeing as how it's been 20 years now? Or should I stay true to my principles?

Retirement Home Dreams

2009-07-03T11:43:00.000-07:00

Ever since I was a kid, I've always been drawn to the elderly. And not in a weird or perverse way. I spent a lot of time watching TV and I always found the most comfort in watching shows like The Golden Girls, Matlock, and Murder She Wrote. It was like watching my grandparents in their twilight years (ignoring the obvious fact that I'm not white).

Following that same logic, the recent episodes of crime in the U District (see previous entry "Borrowed Time"), there seems to be only one affordable solution: move into a retirement home where I can observe some kind of peace and quiet.

The rent is comparable, I can have a pet if I want, and they plan social activities for their tenants. And old people are quiet, maybe to a fault, but I think I could handle it. Stay tuned. If I don't get mugged on the way home or involved in some kind of retaliatory act of violence from my downstairs neighbors after I file a noise complaint with the police, you may see my face on the next SHAG commercial.

Borrowed Time

2009-06-30T07:18:00.000-07:00

I'm almost afraid to put this rant to paper. I might be jinxing myself. I have a confession: I have lived in the U-District for over 10 years and I've never been assaulted, mugged, shanked, shived, nothing.

That's a good thing, I know. With the seemingly skyrocketing crime rate in this city, statistically speaking, I'm bout due for my turn. I am inundated with crime reports, I hear sirens from cop cars and ambulances every day, and my neighbors have recently decided to entertain me at all hours with screaming matches that make Law & Order look like Sesame Street.

Here's the question: Is it UD that has the problem or is it me? Am I bucking fate by walking to and from work without some sort of body armor? Are these signs that it's time for me to leave the UD? What are your thoughts out there? Help me decide if it's time to start a new decade in a new place!

Word of the Day: Infetchuated

2009-06-22T22:15:00.000-07:00

I created a new word today, inspired by my toenail polish:

in⋅fetch⋅u⋅ate

[v. in-fech-oo-eyt; adj., n. in-fech-oo-it, -eyt] verb, -at⋅ed, -at⋅ing, adjective, noun

–verb (used with object)

1.	to inspire or possess with a foolish or unreasoning passion, as of love.

After randomly choosing a nail color at her weekly pedicure, Jane was infetchuated with the orange sheen on her toes.

The copyright is pending y'all.

Clash of the Titans

2009-06-18T07:27:00.000-07:00

I've slept like shit every night for the last week so I've made a decision (for the 67th time) to stop drinking coffee. As much as I love it, I'm exhausted every morning and have to drink more and more coffee to keep the high throughout the day.

My old standby is chai tea. It's provides a much more even flow for me but it's definitely not as high a high. Decisions! I need to compare the two:

White chocolate mocha: 350 calories, 6g of fat, 58g of sugar, 150mg of caffeine
Chai tea latte:200 calories, 0g of fat, 42g of sugar, 100mg of caffeine

And chai tea lattes are cheaper! There you have it people. The winner,by decision, is chai tea. You will see me get more and more irritable over the next week or so. My apologies in advance.

The Streets

2009-06-17T22:13:00.001-07:00

When I was walking home from work today, it started raining. It hasn't rained for the past 28 days so I didn't have an umbrella with me. I was darting between stores with awnings but I felt like I was playing chicken with the people walking toward me. I started getting angry like "Get out of my way! I have high maintenance hair so I deserve to walk under the awnings!"

The easy solution is, not for me to seek help about my anger management issues, but for the City of Seattle to create a special lane for those people with special needs hair. The lane would be similar to a bike lane but it would be on the sidewalk close to the buildings.Instead of a picture of a bike denoting its purpose, it would be a cartoon of a person with frizzy hair getting rained on. I shouldn't have to fight with women whose hair can handle a little Seattle mist. I think the 2 hours I spend on my hair should count for something.

Bainbridge vs. Bremerton

2009-06-17T18:51:00.000-07:00

Last weekend, I agreed to attend my friend's baby shower. She moved from Ballard to Bainbridge Island last year and I'd only been out there for her housewarming party.

I was so nervous about getting there on time that I made sure to get to the ferry terminal early. I inadvertently got there an hour early so I thought I'd just sit in my car in the parking lot until the ferry started to board. The first sign of trouble was when I blithely ignored the signs and got on the ferry that the little ferry people waved me onto.

I cranked up the radio and sat in my car waiting for the ferry to depart. The second sign of trouble was when I noticed it moving 45 minutes ahead of schedule. I just thought I may have misread the ferry schedule the night before.

Keeping in mind that the ferry ride to Bainbridge Island should take 30 minutes, I started to worry after 45 minutes. I turned my mind back to the signs at the ferry terminal and realized that they all said BREMERTON. The trifecta of omens was complete.

Classic Lily! So I got off the ferry in Bremerton, turned around to get back on the ferry to Seattle, when the ferry guy told me that I could drive to Bainbridge. Forty-five minutes later, I crossed Agate Pass. I ended up being 15 minutes early!